Neverland Tigers Thriller and Sabu Inconsolable After Telepathically Learning of Jackson Death

Having combed now through Michael Jackson's Last Will and Testament several times, we can say with some authority that the singer left nothing to any member of his beloved menagerie. Bubbles the chimp, Tootles the llama, Nibs the emu, Slightly the crocodile, Curly the peacock, "Off The Wall" the albino black bear, and The Tortoise Twins will simply have to settle for their fond memories of their doting owner, and the children visitors who'd pat them far too hard on the head on their way to the Wishing Tree Gift Shop.