· What would happen if Bravo's Real Housewives invaded Nintendo's Mushroom Kingdom? Ugh, for starters, they'd probably pronounce it "Marry-oh."
· Megan Fox "says some very ridiculous things" that make you roll your eyes, huffs Michael Bay. Pot, meet exploding kettle.
· This entire Quincy Jones tell-all about Michael Jackson is great ("He obviously didn't want to be black...you see his kids?"), but the most important takeaway is that Bubbles the chimp bit a hole into Rashida Jones's hand as a child.
· Gary Coleman's wife has been arrested for domestic battery.
· Why must the dreaded "Hispanic party elephants" in the apartment above Jeff Wells annoy him by rediscovering Thriller?