Alec Baldwin to Jack Cafferty: 'How Dare You Insult My NYU Drama Degree, Bike-Murderer?!'

Alec Baldwin has pledged to retire from acting at the "the 30 Rock wrap party," he recently told Playboy, in the very same interview where he dangled prospects of running against party turncoat and general Jewish Disappointment™ Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut Senate race. And that would be perfectly lovely: We'd like nothing more than to turn on CNN and see Baldwin in a Griswold diner surrounded by locals proudly wearing "I ♥ A SMART ALEC" buttons, to whom he imparts nuggets of folksy, Donaghy-esque wisdom, like, "America, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap."