I hate to say it, Jessica Simpson, but this Valentine’s Day is going to suck for you. I mean, single girls around the globe have always declared Feb. 14 to be a non-holiday, then gone out, drank heavily with girlfriends, and convinced themselves that ‘girl-power’ makes them happy. It ain’t true.This V-Day is your first time in a long time as a single girl. This means no candy hearts (unless your dad buys one for you out of pity), no lingerie (same – gross – but then again, your dad IS the uber-creepy Joe Simpson), no roses and no kisses (read above: it’s called making out with a random to make yourself feel better). Last year you had Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, but the cad dumped you on your 29th birthday. The cad. And although everyone thinks you’re dating Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan, both you and I know you’re just friends. |
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